On Sunday the first  day of May, the Irish charity Féileacáin (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Association of Ireland) are holding a walk to remember, from the market square in Youghal at 3pm. This 2km walk is to commemorate International Babylost Mothers Day and remember all babies who have died. Starting at the market square and finishing at the Beach at the front strand with a short ceremony and releasing balloons with messages and names attached in memory of babies who have died .

Féileacáin is a nonprofit organisation that aims to provide support to those affected by the death of a baby during pregnancy or shortly after. The organisation was formed in 2009 and officially launched in October 2010 by a group of seven bereaved parents; Brain and Liz Roche , Mairie Cregan, Helen Hayes, Jacinta Murphy, Jessie Castle and Mary Lane. Since then they have done amazing work and have come so far in such a short time. Féileacáin has gone from strength to strength in their effort to offer hope and support to others.

The death of a baby is one of the most devastating experiences that anyone can go through. While you’re pregnant you have so much hope, you plan for your baby and for yourself as you approach your role as Mother or Father, you have so many hopes and dreams for the life growing inside you. The initial shock and resulting grief can be completely overwhelming for the parents and their close family. It is an emotional journey that will forever affect every aspect of their lives. Maybe someone you know has experienced stillbirth or neonatal death and you didn’t know what to say to them or how to support them. All to often the confusion or fear of making an inappropriate comment paralyse  people, they don’t know what to say so they avoid the grieving parents. Their silence can hurt, the grieving parents need their baby’s existence to have made a mark, they have buried their baby not their existence. These beautiful babies came into their parents lives for short brief moments but will be forever in their hearts. Féilecáin know how precious each and every life is and how every baby’s life should be celebrated and recognized. They also know how hard this experience is as they have all gone through the same heartbreaking experience. This is why Féilecáin volunteer their time to provide national ongoing support to those who need it through emails and phone calls. They also have started setting up local support groups, so far they have set up support meetings in Cork and Galway and are hoping to soon expand these to Tralee, Waterford and Kilkenny and hopefully at some stage they will become nationwide. Féileacáin are hoping to run training courses in Vienna Woods Hotel in July for anyone in Cork who would like to become a befriender volunteer and help facilitate a support group. Féileacáin are also working in setting up training for midwives and health professional, as to how parents are told and supported in hospitals.

Féileacáin also recognize that families who have lost babies in the past may not have had the help, support or opportunity to mourn and come to terms with the death of their precious child . Some families didn’t even know where their children were buried and some may not have been able to see or hold their child, as health professionals believed they were protecting the mothers and lessening her grief by doing so. Thankfully things have changed over the years, but that doesn’t mean we can’t continue to change and improve. Féileacáin have already helped Mothers and families who have lost their babies long ago to locate where their baby was buried if they were never given this information and to talk to someone who understands the trauma of their loss .

It is so important to many parents to have memories of the short time they have had with their babies. This is why Féileacáin have created the Remembering Memory box to give comfort to parents to look and hold reminders of their precious babies. These memory boxes have been recently released in maternity hospitals in Cork and Galway and will hopefully be launched very soon in many other maternity hospitals throughout Ireland . The boxes included beautiful hand knitted blankets, for parents to wrap or lay their baby in. It also includes a handmade card, a small box for a lock of the babies hair or their identification bracelet, and also two small teddies,  which some parents like to swap before the burial and give their child the teddy they kept close to them and they have the teddy that was kept close to their baby. In every Remembering Memory box is also a single use camera for parents to take photographs of their baby. These cameras can also be used by older siblings so they can take photos and be a part of making memories of their little brother or sister. There are also support leaflets to let parents know they are not alone and leaflets with suggestions on how to take photographs at this time of great sorrow and shock.

Féileacáin get support from many wonderful people, organisations and companies. Many knitting groups have donated time and effort into making beautiful blankets for the memory boxes. With approximately 11 babies per week die in Ireland  , a constant supply of knitted blankets is needed. Féileacáin can supply the wool and buttons for people who are willing to volunteer their time and skills to make the blankets and appreciate every single one. So if you are a member of a knitting group or you just knit on your own, you can get involved in knitting blankets. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NIMLDTS)  is a wonderful organisation who work along side Féileacáin , who provide (at the parents request) volunteer professional photographer to come and take remembrance photography. Parents are provided with a sensitive portrait session and are provided with a free CD of sensitively retouched images , which serve as an important step in the families healing process by honoring their babies existence.  Féileacáin are providing the training and education to the NILMDTS photographers who volunteer in this amazing service to families facing the untimely death of their child.. With their next training day being held in Dublin on the 3rd May. In Cork at present Féileacáin has three photographers volunteering their time to this incredible service with 10 photographers nationwide , and are hoping over time they will have at least two photographers volunteering in every maternity hospital nationwide. Companies such as Precious Prints , Silverhaven Jewelery and Yewcrafts offer a range of beautiful items designed to provide parents with a choice of beautiful keepsakes. These keepsakes are important to preserve the child’s memory , from a range of jewelery and glass keepsakes with the babies name, birthday, hand or footprints engraved within the keepsake which will be treasured by the parents and family forever. These companies also donate 10% of the retail price back to Féileacáin once Féileacáin is mentioned when ordering.

Féileacáin is extremely grateful to all those who have already helped support their charity, from the people who knit blankets to those who hold fundraisers such as coffee mornings, handbag and make-up parties, dart tournaments to those running and walking in mini marathons. Thank you to the many people who donate money or sponser a Memory box and especially those who just spread the word and information about the charity. Stillbirth and neonatal death is sadly happening everyday and Féileacáin are doing fantastic work to ensure every parent who has to face such tragedy doesn’t feel alone. The memory boxes that are now in  CUMH will ensure that parents will have memories and mementos of their precious child forever. Hopefully soon these boxes will be in all maternity hospitals throughout Ireland. You can donate money to the charity via their facebook page or their website. A memory box costs just €20 you can sponsor a box through the shop on Féileacáin’s web site.
Please come along on May 1st and show your support and spread the word on the amazing work this charity is doing.

Contact :
Helpline 085 2496464
Email info@feileacain.ie
Website: www.feileacain.ie or check out the Féileacáin
Charity number CHY 19635