Youghal

By Public Demand - The Rogue Billy Swayne

Readers familiar with these pages over the past few years will have got a good many amusing anecdotes about the famous character Billy Swayne. He cropped up in many tales as an entertaining rogue - full of innocent devilment. Feedback from readers now requests that Billy and his amusing behaviour be given more prominence - so today we shall endeavour to do that.
Before going to the funny side - permit me to give a bit of Billy's background. He had only one eye from his teenage years - having lost one while playing hurling in Copperalley G.A.A. grounds. A sliothar came down from the sun and smashed his eye. He was given a brown glass eye by the medics to match his good one and you couldn't tell the difference when looking at him. As kids we tried to guess - but that just brought out the rogue in him. Billy then met his future wife Bina Finn from Ballymacoda and she made a good wife for him. They had four children - Margaret, William, Robert and Gerard. Incidentally Bina had a boyfriend earlier named Kevin Cashman and he also had sight in only one eye. Was that coincidence or fate? Kevin was a true gentleman who grew cabbage and carrots and had a truck on the road. He ensured that no poor person in his area was hungry.
We start with a daily visitor to Billy's shoemaker's workshop. The visitor was a Cork city man named Denis O'Regan and he was married to Noel Hogan's sister Eileen. He arrived into Billy's one day in a very distressed state. He had bought two window boxes (filled with flowers) the day before and placed them on the window sills of his home in DeValera Street. When he got up in the morning - one of the new window boxes had been stolen. Billy was full of sympathy for him and Tom (Midgie) Pomphrett - who was present - remarked how bad the robber was to do such a thing. When the sad Denis had departed - Billy brought Tom out to his back yard - and there was a lovely new window box full of flowers. Billy had 'borrowed' it to see the reaction of Denis. Of course it was secretly placed back a few nights later.
The Swayne boys used to play hurling in Copperalley after school and would depend on hearing the parish church Angelous bell ring out over the town at six o'clock to remind them to go home to their tea. But one day the wind was blowing from the north at Copperalley and the boys could not hear the bell. It was about seven o'clock when they realised that they were late. "We'll be killed said Paddy" - but Billy calmed him down by presenting a plan. "We'll say that you fell into the river and that I saved you" said Billy. Paddy replied "But they won't believe that story as my clothes will be dry". "We'll soon fix that" said Billy as he dunked Paddy at the Double Slips.
He played a trick on some pals at Brown Street corner by saying that Tommy Keniry the butcher had just died. One of the pals panicked and ran down to sympathise with the new widow. When he knocked on the door he was answered by the 'dead' man himself.
When I was a small boy in Billy's house one night - he asked me to hold a glass marble while he washed his face by the gaslight. In the bad light of the gas mantle - I managed to take a close look at the marble and found a glass eye looking up at me.
Before saying anymore - let me tell you that Billy's mother (Maggie) and my grandmother Ellen were two Kenefick sisters. Their brother Johnny was the forgotten Volunteer on the run - to whom we unveiled a memorial headstone on his unmarked grave in North Abbey last September 2025.
Billy was a staunch nationalist and a G.A.A. supporter. Against his wishes - a few of us youngsters played hurling during the spring and summer - but in winter we played soccer in Dunne's Park (Green's Quay). On a Sunday morning a soccer team from Midleton were coming to Green's Quay to play us. The day before (Saturday) we decided to spruce up the commonage. Posts we got and the pitch was lined with whitewash and it looked lovely. But when we went down early the next morning to admire our work - the posts were missing. They were thrown into the nearby river and the crossbars were broken. We managed to retrieve them and used rope for crossbars. Someone had been worried that the commonage would be turned into a soccer pitch. Guess who ? Yes - we could all guess correctly but no admission was forthcoming from the rogue. Months later it leaked that he had a few helpers in Mick Hegarty and Tom (Midgie) Pomphrett. The game went ahead against Midleton that Sunday morning. Soccer selectors were: Tommy Griffin, Jack Whelan and Mick Bransfield.
Staying with Green's Quay - town hurling and football street leagues were played there. Teams from Sarsfield Terrace, the North-side, Centre of town and South (including the Strand) took part. Billy was dong umpire at one match when I was the goalkeeper beside him. The football came bouncing towards me with a big older guy of Sars tearing in behind it. No doubt if I had caught it - ball and me would be plastered into the back of the net. But Billy gave a shout "Fist it wide Mikey - Fist it wide". Mikey fisted it wide before the big Sars guy crashed into him. When I recovered - I heard Billy shouting "Well done Mikey" and somehow it seemed worth all the pain. It was great to be praised like that by Billy Swayne.
A big car pulled up at the top of Browne Street one time while Billy and some pals were having a chat. "Where does Billy Swayne live asked the well dressed driver". "He died last year answered Billy". The car drove away - everyone laughed. "He was an income tax inspector" said Billy - "I'd know them anywhere".
Up in Castlemartyr we were playing a football game against Glanmire when a shemozzle (fight) broke out between some players. The Glanmire team was miles ahead on the scoreboard and Billy (who wasn't even a selector) decided to call the whole team off the field. We all came off at Billy's instructions and our selectors were furious. On the way home in Paddy Lawlor's bus Fr. Ben Cotter -who was a selector - walked up and own the aisle of the bus telling us how bold and unsporting we were. "Ye're a disgrace to yourselves, to your club and to your town". The rogue Billy sat quietly in the back row. The local club was suspended by the Cork County Board from that competition for some time afterwards.
On another occasion in Castlemartyr - Billy was doing umpire at one post while a man from the other club (Midleton) was across the goal from him. Tommy Butler of Youghal kicked the ball towards goal looking for a point but it went wide at Billy's side. Billy waved the white flag - meaning a point for Youghal. The Midleton man objected "That was well wide" said he. Then Billy (with only one eye) replied "It was certainly a point -are you blind or what ?"
We lose our characters year by year - but it is so important to record their legacy. In this case - it is hoped that the tales of Billy Swayne will live on.
Agus sin an sceal anois - Slan go foil. (And that's the story now) - Mike Hackett - May 2026. ... See MoreSee Less